The Longest Mile: Part 1

Being down to 3 quests now, I find myself driven...well, that and the fact that I've already got the hardest piece of work out of the way (69 Smithing). So it's time to make a few decisions on what to do next.

On one hand, I have the Rocking Out quest. For this, I still need 4 Crafting levels and 1 Thieving level. Crafting takes a while, since I like doing it at Shades of Mort'ton. Thieving can also take a while, if I decide to use the Sorceress' Garden Minigame.

On the other hand, I have the Devious Minds quest. For this, I need 6 Runecrafting levels. While I don't mind runecrafting, I like it a lot better when I'm making Law runes. I don't enjoy high alchemy magic training, and Nature runes don't sell for as much as they used to. But the up side is that both mining pure essence and crafting runes through the abyss are relatively quick.

I'm anxious to get another quest done soon, so I opt for the runecrafting level and Devious Minds.

I do my calculations, and they show that I need to make about 4.5k Nature runes to go from 44 to 50 Runecrafting. Since I have a 66 Magic, I mine through the Mages Guild in Yannelle. This is, by far, the shortest trip between the teleporting npc and the bank, and mining essence here takes very little time at all. It takes me only about 4-5 game hours to get what I need.

Then it's off to craft. Before I start, I use some of the money I've amassed to buy 12 more Amulets of Glory to complete my Runecrafting/Prayer training kit of 28 (by the way: the total value of 28 Glorys is aproximately 1.26 million gp). I charge my used ones and get to work.

Before PKing left, it was rather unwise to wear anything valuable while crafting runes in the abyss because there were people who would wait by the Zammarok Mage (probably because they were poor PKers and couldn't take anyone geared for a fight). It was also hard on your run energy, since most armor is somewhat heavy. Jagex has thankfully solved both problems. While PKers were replaced by Revenants, the Revenants are little more than an annoyance most times. Also, after the As a Last Resort quest, you have access to the Ogre spa (yeah I know how it sounds) which have pools with some helpful affects. The spa that helps in Runecrafting is the salt-water spring, which gives you unlimited run for a period of time determined by your Agility level. While the effect lasts less than a half hour for me, it is well worth the trip back if you can use Fairy Rings. The whole process takes only about 3-4 hours.

It was here that I made an expensive and rather noobish mistake. Knowing that I need a large essence pouch, I return to the abyss to hunt abyss creatures in order to find one. This is not wise, and I would suggest that if you have access to Fairy Rings, that you should use the abyss area that you can access with coordinates: ALR. First of all, you don't get skulled and your prayer doesn't get drained. Another benefit is that it's not multi-combat.

It was here that I died a most moronic and expensive death, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't see my Hit Point bar because of all of the attacks I was weathering. I lost a full set of rune armor (with a dragon medium helmet), my dragon scimitar, and one of the Glorys I had just bought (not even taking into account that I also lost all the pouches I had currently found). I tried desperately to return to my grave marker to retrieve my items, but I still have the noob one and it fell as soon as I arrived at it. This set me back almost 1 million gp (but in the process I upgraded to Dragon Platelegs and Dragon Gloves). I decided to sell the Nature runes to offset the cost.

I then set out to do Devious Minds. The hardest part of this quest is training for it (65 Smithing), and it only takes me about a half hour to finish it. This puts me to 265 quest points.

I then set out to train crafting. I make the trip to Mort'ton and build the temple for several hours (getting 2 levels in the process) before I get bored and try to come up with another way to train. I try the gem rocks in Shilo Village, but it's slow and I get far more junk than I do anything useful (although I do manage to increase my stock of games necklaces and rings of dueling). I give up on this and head to Varrock to buy some battlestaves from the shop there. I can only buy 32 a day, so this doesn't get me very far. I high alch them to get my money back and try to come up with something else.

It was then that I decided to look to see what the Grand Exchange had to offer. I found that battlestaves sold for about 8.7k gp max, which is still less than the 9.3k gp alchemy value. I don't hold out much hope, but I put a max price bid on 50 battlestaves...and I get them. While I'm not making a whole lot of money off making them, I'm not losing anything (which is one of the most important parts of power-training).

The battlestaff market quickly dried up, leaving me 12k experience shy of the needed 66 crafting, so I return to Mort'ton for about an hour to finish this up.

Then all that is left is the one Thieving level to get. I decide that it's time for me to do the Penguin Hide and Seek this week in order to get some fast experience. It takes me less than a half hour, but I find myself about 9k experience short. While I wasn't looking to get into sq'irk gathering right now, I make some quick calculations in my head to learn that I only need about 4 glasses of juice, so I spend another hour gathering the fruit to make juice for Osman. My calculations were a bit off, leaving me with not quite 500 experience left to go. I managed to pick this up by stealing from the stalls in Ardougne.

Then I'm off to do Rocking Out. While it's not a difficult quest, it's long and requires a lot of running around doing favors for people. It also helps to watch a lot of MacGuyver reruns to sort out this out without a guide. After an hour of mind numbing errand-running, the quest is done.

I now have 267 Quest points, with only 2 more quests to do.

A few more behind me

It's been a long time in comming, but I managed to get 59 Slayer, and I'm well below my combat requirements. This is good news, since I thought that getting the Slayer level I needed might push me a bit over what I needed combat-wise. I've got plenty of room to maneuver.

I still need 1 more Defence level for Kings Ransom, so I go and play with the fire giants in Brimhaven dungeon for an hour or so to get it. This quest isn't very hard, it's just a lot of running around...and I'm still trying to figure out why I needed a 65 Defence for it. The highest level armor you need to wear is black.

Having finished Contact!, I decided that Dealing with Scabarous should be next on my list. I made this decision based on two factors: Thieving would be the easiest skill to get two fast levels out of, and to be finally finished with the desert based quests. This will give me leave to move my house to Yannelle at my convenience. The only reason it's been in Pollvenich so long is to make it easier to get to these quest locations.

After some minor calculations I determined that it would take 19 glasses of the red squirk juice to get me from 58 Thieving to 60. While this might not seem like a whole lot, keep in mind that you need 3 red fruit for each glass (for a total of 57 fruit). I was very lucky in my time at the Sorceress Garden in that I didn't experience much in the way of lag. Lag kills you there.

Dealing with Scabarous isn't really a difficult quest if you know what you're doing. It's also one of those quests that will kill you the moment you think you've got a handle on it. My advice to any of you is NEVER THINK YOU'VE GOT THE QUEST BEAT UNTIL YOU GOT THE XP REWARD! Case in point is to follow:

I'm doing this quest, and I know that most everything I'll be facing will be both hostile and dangerous. The average enemy level is somewhere in the neighborhood of 100, and while they don't hit obscenely hard, they do hit often enough to make it a problem. I run through, kill a bunch of zombies, skeletons and scabarites to get the information for the archeologists. I switch to mage to kill the giant level 200 something scarab (while having to allocate more power to everything else because my skills aren't overly exceptional), and kill it easily.

I think to myself at this point: "Hard part over. Cakewalk from here." As I'm running through the underground tunnels filled with scabarites, I'm not paying as much attention to my HP as I should be. I lag for a second, and I'm dead. I lost a bunch of sharks, 2 full prayer potions, about 75 blood runes, 7 times as many water runes, and my Mystic hat, gloves and boots. Never think you've got it beat. Never.

On a side note, I'd like to point out here that Sal's Realm of Runescape has wrong information posted about this quest. It says that the giant scarab uses magic and melee attacks. This is wrong. While it does melee, it's ranged attack is just that: ranged. I used protection from range and stayed outside the door and took absolutely no damage.

I also went out and did the new Defender of Varrock quest. While I had a few concerns about the Wilderness, the quest didn't turn out to be very difficult. It gave me a Smithing level and two Hunting levels.

I now have 256 Quest points.

I'm thinking that my next plan will be to head out to Brimhaven Agility Arena to get 60 Agility. This would fulfill requirements for two quests.

Chapter 5-Episode 3: Best laid plans of noobs and men

First of all, while I may have already stated this, I hate Range. It's very slow to train, unless you have a cannon...then it's just incredibly expensive. It does have it's uses, but for me, a main source of combat ability is not one of them.In the future, I will need a 60 Ranged for a quest. Thus, I have to train it. My plan is to use a bone crossbow, since it has a special attack. I've never used one, so I don't know how well it will work. But people use them, so I'm left to assume that they have some worth.

As far as ranging equipment goes, my bank is somewhat lacking. I still have studded leather armor and a junk bow, so I want to upgrade. For me, upgrading means making it myself. Snakeskin armor is still within my skill range. This means I'm going to have to do several quests:Death to the DorgeshuunRum DealCabin FeverI qualify for the Dorgeshuun quest, so I start it first. There isn't much of a shopping list, and everything I need is already in my bank (light source, 2 sets of H.A.M. robes, rope). It's an easy quest with easy fights. Quest Complete: 1 Quest Point, 2,000 Ranging and Thieving XP, Dorgeshuun special attacks (Ranged 37).

I buy my crossbow, and look at what I need for Rum Deal. I need 47 Prayer, 40 Farming, and 42 Slayer. I got some work to do, it seems.I look to see if I can do any quests that give Slayer XP. Wanted! gives 5,000 and I qualify for it. It's off to Falador. This quest isn't hard, there's just a lot of running around involved. In fact, the hardest part of the quest is the running around. The mage is a wimp, and for some reason he melee's you at the end, after hitting about 12 White Knights for 70 hp each. Quest Complete: 1 Quest Point, 5,000 Slayer XP, access to the White Knight armory (33 Slayer).The armory isn't really worth bothering with. Full white knight is more of a showpiece than it is functional.

I can also get up to 6,000 XP from Darkness of Hallowvale, which I do qualify for. Now when I was discussing Legends Quest, I said it was the second most aggrivating quest in the game. Darkness of Hallowvale is the quest that I rate at #1 on that list. The shopping list is small (all I need to do is pop off to Barbarian Outpost to grab a couple of planks), but the trek across the Sanguinesti region is utterly grueling. I guess it's best to get it out of the way then.I'll not go into the horror of all the backtracking I had to do. I can't say with any certainty how many times I crossed the city, but I know for sure that I lost count at around 6. I even had to recharge my Glories (I have 3 now). Quest Complete: 2 Quest points, 7k Agility XP, 6k Thieving XP, Tome of XP (2k XP with 3 uses...all on Slayer). This gives me 36 Slayer, as well as 51 Thieving.

Now, I really want to use snakeskin armor while it's useful to me, so I decide to train Slayer with melee, while training attack. I plan to train my Attack to 60 before long anyways, so I can upgrade to a dragon battleaxe.I head out to change my assignment (I don't want to fight shades again), and find out that when I let my membership expire, my current Slayer assignment was cancelled. This information would have been much more useful before I made the trip to Taverly. I decide to take a bit of a risk and try Chaedar for assignments. Unfortunately, I'm too wimpy, and she laughes in my face and sends me packing. I decide to give Mazchna one more chance.

He does good by me and gives me 45 Cocatrice. I buy a mirror shield, and head off to the Fremnink Slayer Caves. I don't have a lot of food, but it should get me started. That assignment gets me 37 Slayer, 46 Attack, 48 Hit Points and a 62 Combat Level.

Next up, an old favorite of mine: 40 Hill Giants. I can do that with the food I have left. I grab my brass key and head off to Varrock. In case you don't know, the brass key opens the door on a little shack across the river from Barbarian Village. Down that ladder is a massive den of Hill Giants (it's part of Edgeville dungeon)...which is usually too busy for any manner of usefulness. And this time is no exception.Next stop: Taverly dungeon. It's a longer walk, and as a result there isn't much activity there. Uninhabited, as usual. This assignment gives me a 47 Attack, but no Slayer level.

I then discover that Vannaka is a higher level Slayer master, so I go to him next. 40 Crocodiles. While I hate desert combat, crocodiles are near a Pollnivneach, and I should be able to refill my waterskins there. Plus, getting there will be easy since that's where my house is.

I get there to discover that crocodiles are 1 combat level higher than I am. This will be a good assignment. While I'm getting good XP from them, the crocodiles are beating on me better than I'd like, and my food doesn't last long. It's a bit of a trip, so I take a moment to make my house a bit more useful.

(Note: this is the point where Episode 2 takes place).

Now, I can make cakes. While it might not seem like a big deal, cakes are far better than having nothing at all. Turns out, I don't need them. While I don't get a Slayer level, I get an Attack level (50 Attack).

Next on the list is 81 Ice Warriors. Another good one. I go and catch and cook about 50 Lobsters, and head to Mudskipper Point. That cave from Knight's Sword quest is crawling with them. I didn't do so badly: I finished the task while only having to resupply once. I end up with a 51 Attack, 63 Combat Level, and very close to 40 Slayer.

Next up is a brutal task: 109 Ogres. It's going to be a long assignment, but I should get a lot of XP out of it. The task takes more than 1 day of playing (about 8 hours for me...yeah, I know. Shut up). The task gets me 53 Attack, 50 Hit Points, 64 Combat level, and puts me about 1.7k from my target 42 Slayer.

It is at this point that I make a depressing discovery. By the time I have easy access to snakeskins, I'll be wearing green dragonhide armor. I head to the GE to attempt to buy some snakeskin armor...and there's none to be found at any price. Snakeskins? Nope. It looks like this whole ordeal was all for naught. Oh well...I started it, I may as well finish it. I'll need to train Slayer at some point, anyways.

While Vannaka scores points for brutality in assignments, he loses a few for lack of variety. 95 more Ogres. Oh well...at least I'll get my Slayer level before I'm done. I gear up in my nooby leather range armor and bone crossbow, and head out.

I find a nice, little place for me to "safe" (a combat situation where the player can attack a monster without it being able to respond in kind. This usually involves positioning yourself behind a low obstacle and using range or mage, but halberds can be used in some instances with identical effect), and I get to slaughtering ogres.

This ogre respawns on the other side of the campfire, and as you can see, there's a nice row of impassible bushes to shoot over. If the Ogre gets around it, you can head just a bit south and you're out of reach (illustrated in the picture).

Once I hit 42 Slayer, I'm less than 1k XP from 40 Ranged, so I keep killing Ogres for a bit more till I have it. This leaves 1 more required level for the quests I'm planning on doing. And I know just how to get it.

By the time I reach 40 Ranged and 42 Slayer, I'm a bit more than 1.2k XP from the necessary 47 Prayer. The quest Mountain Daughter will give me 2k Prayer XP. And it'll be relatively quick and easy. It's a relatively simple run around with a fight at the end that's over relatively quickly. Quest Complete: 2 Quest Points, 1,000 Attack, 2,000 Prayer, and a bear head (the bear head is cool!).

Now I got everything but the Farming. Farming is very slow XP when you're actually farming, and I need almost 3k XP for the level I need. I stop by the Sorceress' Garden to see what I can get from there (since Sal's doesn't tell me). I get 50 per fruit, so I need to grab me 54 to get a Farming level (which is 18 glasses of juice!). A bit more thief XP wouldn't kill me anyways.

A bit more thief XP is somewhat of an understatement: I get a 54 Thieving out of it. And this gives me all the levels I need for Rum Deal and Cabin Fever.

While I'm now ready for the quest, my plan has been utterly torpedoed. I no longer need snakeskin armor (although I do plan to crank out a few sets), and I'm ready to go get access to as many snakeskins as I feel like getting.

Ah well...

Chapter 2-Episode 6: Who said crime doesn't pay?

I've taken a small diversion from my normal routine to head over to the H.A.M. hideout, and steal the clothes off their back. And I'm not exagerating.

I love stealing from Ham members. They do give up a variety of stuff that are very helpful at my level. Thread, feathers, knives, tinderboxes, cowhides, and the list goes on. Granted, there is a lot of junk to be had, but you can sell the steel pickaxes at the general store for a nice little sum (at my level of needs). But there are two items that stand apart from all the other junk...

The first one is Ham robes. Run around in a full set of Ham robes and someone will offer you money for it. On my first account, I had a nice little noob business collecting and selling full sets of Ham robes. They're probably not worth what they were anymore, though. Despite this, I know for a fact that I'm going to need 2 sets. I usually collect up to 5 sets, so I can help out other people who might want or need them (it does eleviate the aggrivation of having someone chasing you through Falador wailing "Oh, come on dude, 10k!").

The second, and probably my most favorite: clue scrolls. Annoying little slips of paper that send you trapsing across the entire world in search of treasure...all while wearing a combination of items that would make even the most nooby of noobs laugh. I've always had good luck with clue scrolls (way better luck than I've had in the few trips I've ever made to Barrows). It doesn't seem that my luck has changed, as I got a Guthix robe top from the first one I got a couple of days ago. So...I'm looking forward to this.

Clue scroll #1: 3 clues (36 black bolts, black dagger, 3 purple sweets, Gray Bob Shirt), Net Spent-1,242 gp, Estimated Value-27,020
Clue scroll #2: 3 clues (39 mind runes), Net Spent-420 gp, Estimated Value-439 gp

I manage to get 1 full set (with lots of left over bits), and a Thieving level 28.

Chapter 2-Episode 5: From 1 to 24 Thief in less than a second!

Sorceress Garden is the greatest and fastest (albeit occasionally aggrivating) power-training tool for Thief there is in Runescape. Not only can you get massive amounts of Thief experience, you get pretty decent Farming experience as well. I don't like Farming at lower levels, and usually try to wait untill I can plant something that doesn't grow wild all over the world (like potatos, onions and cabbages). On the other hand, at level 1 Thief, there's nothing worth stealing. This minigame solves both problems in spades.

I'm not going to get into any specifics about how the game works, but I will show the best hiding places for each garden. I will also show you the best way to power-train Thief.

To start off, you need a mortar and pestle (available at the herblore shop in Taverly) and a lot of beer mugs. In fact, you should only have enoug empty space to hold enough squirks for 1 glass (4 fruits). Grab the fruit, make a glass, repeat untill all the glasses are filled.

When I'm done, I make a couple of extra trips to the herb patch and fill my inventory. Unfortunately I don't get anything I can use yet. I head back to Osman and turn in my squirk juice for a massive 7,700 Thieving experience points. While it took longer than a second to gather 110 squirk fruits, I did go from 1 to 24 in a single leap.

Tips for Sorceress' garden:

Find the safe spots. There are numerous places in each maze that you can stand and not be seen by the elementals, despite the fact that they move right past you. These are usually corners or gaps in the walls.

Know when to walk, know when to run. Since running is advised through a large portion of most mazes, there are spots where you have ample time to walk. While it doesn't seem like much, it makes all the difference when you don't have a high agility.

Lighten your load. Don't wear or carry anything, unless it's an item that provides negative encumberance modifiers. These include (but may not be exclusive to) Boots of Lightness, Spotted Cape or a Spottier Cape. This decreases the drain on your run energy quite dramatically.

Let other players pass! Once you get the hang of moving through the maze, the biggest problem you'll have is another player. You are bound to find someone who hasn't really figured the minigame out yet, and if they lure an elemental in your direction, it'll catch you too (and even sometimes instead of the player who got caught. Don't try to move when other players do untill you know that they know their way around.